9 months

It's been 9 months since Alma was born.

It's crazy to think that these past 9 months is the same amount of time (give or take a little) that I was pregnant with Alma.  It seems like we have always had him, but it also seems like only a short amount of time has passed.

It's also crazy to think that for 5 of those 9 months I have been pregnant with his little brother.  Who knew Jayze and I would have two kids in the first two years of our marriage?  I sure didn't plan that out!  It feels like an extended pregnancy.

I was talking to someone at work, and she was saying that her first two kids are 11.5 months apart.  She tells everyone she had twins, but it was just a reallllly long pregnancy.  That is exactly how I feel!  Alma and his little brother will be only about 13 months apart.  I constantly wonder what it would be like to have two baby boys here in my arms and wish that I could go back and do something - anything - different to make Alma come back.  But then it's so good to think of Alma always being our guardian angel, watching over his parents and siblings.

It's amazing the differences and similarities between my pregnancies with little brother and Alma.  This little man seems more active, probably because I could feel him sooner than I felt Alma.  He responds well to music, so hey, we might have the next Mozart coming in October!  He is also pretty active whenever I lay on my side or drink something cold.  He must know how paranoid his mama is and moves around to reassure me.  Alma is already teaching him how to be a little angel here on earth.

Jayze asked me what it felt like to feel the baby move, and I thought about saying something like "butterflies," but that seemed too cliche.  So I told him, "It's kind of like a small bouncy ball bouncing up and down in one spot in your tummy, but in medium motion."  Which sounds kind of weird, but at least it's better than a boring description of, "It's like a muscle twitch, but inside my belly." 

I think of this baby inside me and part of me smiles and the other part of me wants to cry because he should have an older brother here on earth, both of them getting into mischief together, playing baseball, and watching over each other at school.  I like to think they would be best friends.

But then I'm happy because Alma will always be a part of our lives - here on earth and when we see him again in heaven.

So keep holding on to your little brother's hand, Alma.  It's so fun to have you two so close in age.