30 Weeks

Whenever I hit 30 weeks along, I realize just how close we are! Plus, with how quickly this pregnancy has gone, I know having the baby is right around the corner. I'm excited and nervous. I can't wait to hold him in my arms, but I always get worried about all of the planning that happens before heading to the hospital.

Having a baby is not like planning a wedding or baby shower or birthday party. Those have set dates and times, whereas having a baby is totally up in the air. It makes it harder to plan and keeps us on our toes, but I'm glad we still have a few weeks before worrying too much about it. 

I'm excited to see how Aidan and Kimball are going to react to having a baby in the house. Kimball will be around the same age Aidan was when we brought Kimball home, and Aidan understands so much more now that I can't wait to see him be a big brother again. He calls the baby "Hudsy" (I have no idea where he got that) and always tries to be careful around my belly. Kimball might go through some hard days because he loves snuggling and being close to me, so I'm glad he has Aidan to play with.

30 Weeks

Update:

How far along: 30 weeks + 4 days.

Gender: Boy!

Clothes: I'm still growing and my clothes aren't. :)

Sleep: I need to go to bed earlier because I've been exhausted. Kimball got a 24-hour bug a few days ago, and since then I haven't felt that great either. No throwing up, but just really tired. However, I haven't had any bad dreams (yay!), and I don't wake up much in the middle of the night which is nice, too. 

Movement: This baby moves around a lot, and I'm so grateful. I had an ultrasound yesterday, and the ultrasound tech said, "Wow! I can see him move your stomach." Sure enough, the left side of my stomach was sticking out farther than the rest of my stomach. This kid's a mover, and I don't mind one bit.

Cravings: Smoothies (homemade), peanut butter toast...not much else. My appetite hasn't been very good this past week. 

Aversions: Pizza, fast food, and meat.

Comfort level: I have a pain in my lower abdomen that I didn't have with the other three that is so uncomfortable. It feels like round ligament pain, but on the underside of my belly. Other than that, it's not too bad. 

Missing anything: Being able to get up without a struggle, haha, and hard-core exercise. 

Hardest part: Trying to keep up with Aidan and Kimball. Also, I really miss being able to lay down anytime and focus on the baby. I've been up and about so much that I can only do that mornings before the kids wake up or evenings after the kids go down. If I lay down while they're awake, they just climb all over me, haha. 

Best moment of the week: Last week was Thanksgiving, which was wonderful. We spent so much time as a family, which I was so grateful for. This week we're preparing to move, so watching Aidan climb into the boxes is amusing. Also, yesterday I got to see the baby on the ultrasound which helped ease my anxiety. I love seeing and hearing his heartbeat. 

I just keep hoping and praying we'll get to take this baby boy home with us. I already love him so much and am so grateful I can feel him every day. All the little curve balls pregnancy tends to throw at me are worth it. 

27 Weeks

27 Weeks

Yesterday, I hit 27 weeks along. Only one more week in the second trimester! There have been a few "bumps" (har har), but mostly regarding my health vs. the baby's health.

Remember how I had varicose veins in my past three pregnancies? Well, the term they gave it when I was pregnant with Alma is actually "superficial thrombophlebitis." It started in one spot behind my knee and wasn't bad at all (compared to now). However, it's grown worse with each subsequent pregnancy. Towards the beginning of this pregnancy, I finally caved and bought compression stockings ($$$) because my leg looked and felt so bad. Thankfully, I can hide it better now since it's colder and I don't want to wear sandals all the time anymore. Plus, they're actually more comfortable than the ones I've bought before.

Despite that annoying and (a little worrisome) thing in my leg, it's been a smooth ride so far. I was talking to one of my friends last week at church and she asked me how the pregnancy was going. I told her, "I'm always so sick and tired in the first trimester, and it's hard to function. I don't throw up, but it's like all day car sickness and exhaustion. Then I'm always anxious and tired during the third trimester, so really, right now it's going well."

Even though I try to cherish each moment in the pregnancy, the second trimester really is my favorite out of the three. It's when I have the most energy, it doesn't hurt when the baby kicks, and my baby bump is still at the super-cute-status vs. I-bet-you're-going-to-have-the-baby-anytime-now status.

It's also when my anxiety is at the lowest level.

After going through being pregnant with Aidan and Kimball, and now being pregnant with our fourth baby boy, I've realized that the pregnancy after loss anxiety will never go away. I have had more peace regarding some things during this pregnancy I didn't have during my other ones, but I've also had more worries regarding other things I wasn't worried about before. And I know as my belly keeps growing and the 37-week mark approaches, my anxiety level will keep rising higher and higher like the red line on a weather thermometer.

However, I've also realized that no matter what point I'm at in my pregnancy, it's a privilege and honor to carry this sacred life inside of me. Even if things might not work out the way I plan or hope, this time with my baby is and will always be precious. I love feeling him move and I never take it for granted. Every day I thank my Heavenly Father for this baby and hope to be the best mom I can be to him, even though he's not born yet.

Update:
How far along: 27 weeks + 1 day
Gender: Boy!
Maternity clothes: Snagged a couple of things last week. Still in dire need of pants, more shirts, and dresses. I don't want to go clothes shopping with Aidan and Kimball, though, so it's been a little tricky finding time to go shopping by myself.
Sleep: If I went to bed earlier, it would be great. It's been cold lately, but since Jayze put a second blanket on our bed, I've been as comfortable as a 27-week pregnant women can be (whatever that means, right?). I was lucky last week because all I needed to do was shift back and forth a few times before being out for the night. The past few nights, though, I tossed and turned and kept waking up. But so far no crazy, graphic dreams, which has been really nice.
Movement: I love, love, love feeling him move, and thankfully this kid moves around quite a bit. He tends to move more when I'm listening to music, reading to Aidan and Kimball, and right after I eat (especially if it's sugar or fruit).
Cravings: Chicken sandwiches, dark chocolate Kit-Kats (thanks Halloween candy), salads, smoothies, pumpkin pie, peanut butter toast, and any food I don't have to make.
Aversions: Pizza and burgers.
Comfort level: This week was kind of a drastic change from last week. All of a sudden my comfort level went wayyyy down. Even sitting throughout all of third hour yesterday at church was hard, so I'm not sure how the next few weeks are going to go haha. Yesterday I kept thinking, "Already?!"
Missing anything: Exercising! I only exercised once last week, so this week I'm committed! It really helps with the aches so much, as well as my mood.
Hardest part: Still trying to figure out a name. It's also hard either trying to find someone to watch my kids while I go to my doctor's appointment or bring them with me. Also, (this doesn't really have anything to do with the pregnancy) Aidan has been a handful lately which has been taxing.
Best moment of the week: Painting the Thankful pumpkin. I love creating things and doing crafts, so that was so fun for me. I also made a Thanksgiving turkey with Aidan and Kimball, and it makes me happy every time I see it.

Aidan and Kimball really like it too. Aidan always wants to touch its eyes and Kimball smiles and points at it and says, "What's that?" all the time. One of these days he might actually say "turkey" while pointing at it. :)

Last week. 26 weeks along.

24 Weeks

19 Weeks along

This past Sunday, I hit 24 weeks along in my pregnancy. It's going by much more quickly than the last three pregnancies, which is both exciting and terrifying. I'm excited to have another boy to love on, but I'm terrified of the last few weeks of the pregnancy that are right around the corner. The last few weeks are always the most stressful because that's when we lost Alma.

I'm also starting to doubt my ability of taking care of three children here. I've felt consistently nauseous and tired and some days it's been hard to take care of two boys let alone three. The second trimester has been a lot easier than the first, but A and K definitely give me a run for my money with their energy (especially since Aidan's suddenly turned into a three-nager haha) and I don't know how it's all going to pan out with me not sleeping through the night. One of my biggest struggles as a parent has been balancing time between my kids (even Alma) and making sure I have enough one-on-one time with each of them. It's hard to split my attention three different ways, so I know it will take even more effort splitting it four ways.

However, every time I get a moment to myself to rub my belly and look around my living space, imagining a newborn snuggled in my arms or asleep in the bouncer, I feel such a deep, abiding peace that this baby is meant to be here and it will all be okay. It's such a sacred privilege to carry a child, and I want to give it the honor it deserves by treasuring the tender mercies that come every single day. Yes, it's hard and scary and exhausting, but it's also a quiet joy and I'm grateful. Whatever comes, I know Heavenly Father is right there with me.

22 Weeks

22 Weeks

Update:
How far along: 24 weeks + 2 days
Gender: Boy!
Maternity clothes: The past three times I always just winged it because we had almost no money for extra clothes. I was planning to do the same this time around, but I've gotten bigger faster and it's just so much more comfortable to wear maternity clothes. I've bought a couple of things and have been rotating through them and my regular clothes, but I also don't want stretch out my regular clothes. So, if anyone has any recommendations for good quality but not expensive maternity clothes, I'm looking! :)
Sleep: I go to bed exhausted almost every night, so I've actually been sleeping pretty well. Since the boys take a nap at the same time (yes!), sometimes I'm able to squeeze in a nap too. No crazy dreams yet. And since I wised up and stopped drinking so much water right before bedtime, I'm not up 3-4 times a night going to the bathroom anymore.
Movement: This baby moves so much, and I love it SO MUCH. The second trimester is especially the best because his kicking and moving doesn't hurt yet. I never ever get tired of feeling him move.
Cravings: Chick-fil-A, Panera (aka soups and salads!), smoothies, baked goods, macaroni salad (but only a few bites), hummus and pita chips or pita bread, muffins, snacky foods.
Aversions: Pizza, Chinese food, burgers, spaghetti (hmmm, this seems to be a common theme), and sometimes chocolate (heartburn!). Actually, I probably have zero excitement for any of the food I just mentioned because they all give me heartburn.
Missing anything: Working out hard core...or even working out at all...so I finally started doing strengthening exercises again this week. I'm committed! It helps with the aches and pains soooooo much. I also miss fitting comfortably into my clothes.
Hardest part: Picking a name! Guys, if Jayze and I were having a girl the only hard part would be picking which one. We probably have five girl names picked out already (middle too!). It's been difficult (to say the least!) going through names and trying to find one we both like.
Best moment of the week: Today I took Aidan and Kimball with me to the doctor's appointment (they were so busy!), and we all got to hear the baby's heartbeat. They stopped getting into stuff the moment they heard it and were kind of like, "What the heck?" but it was cute. I never get tired of hearing that sound. Someone should invent some sort of bracelet or app or something that allows you to listen to the heartbeat any time you want.

22 Weeks

It's been a blur of a pregnancy so far. We're grateful we're having another baby and I keep getting more and more and more excited about having another boy. It's going to be wonderful having a baby in the house again.