He came out with a head chock full of dark hair just like his older brothers. His eyes are a beautiful dark blue - darker around the edges, and lighter in the middle. He has the cutest little cry and the sweetest little personality. I already love everything about him and am so grateful he's here - alive, healthy, well, and breathing. My baby boy #3.
Kimball was born exactly a week early, just like Aidan. Except this time I wasn't induced; Kimball came on his own, which actually ended up being a HUGE tender mercy. I'm not sure things would have turned out quite as well if he had come at the scheduled induction the next day.
I'll start from the beginning.
I had been having tons of Braxton Hicks for a few weeks leading up to his birth. I hated hitting 37 weeks, was anxious the whole week, and was grateful when I finally bypassed it and hit 38 weeks along. However, since I was having so many Braxton Hicks and cramps and some real contractions, I asked to be checked when I was 37 weeks along. I wasn't sure if I would be dilated at all or not, but I was definitely crossing my fingers that I would be. I was hoping that being so uncomfortable meant that my body was progressing towards having this baby. And it was! When the doctor came in and checked me, I was already 3cm dilated and 75% effaced. They scheduled me for an induction for 39 weeks, unless the baby came before then (which Jayze and I were really hoping he would.)
That whole week I continued to get more and more uncomfortable, so I was anticipating being more dilated when I was checked again at the next appointment on Tuesday when I hit 38 weeks along. The Sunday before my 38-week appointment, May 1, I thought I was going into real labor. We were at church, and my contractions were coming steady and hard every five minutes for about half an hour. By the time we got home, though, they had become really inconsistent. I called the nurse and she gave me some tips to get the contractions more consistent and time-able, but they ended up stopping altogether.
The contractions this pregnancy really threw me for a loop - they would be consistent and strong and then suddenly stop or become inconsistent again. I was hoping I would be more dilated at my next appointment, but to my disappointment, I was still at around 3-4 cm dilated and 75%. The nurse I had talked to on the phone and saw at the office at my next appointment was surprised I hadn't gone into labor over the weekend. After the doctor checked me, he told me I could go into labor at any time. He knew I was scheduled for an induction the next week, but said he would be surprised if I didn't go into labor before then. That certainly got my hopes up.
Over the weekend, Jayze and I went out for lots of walks with Aidan and ate tons of pineapple (we heard that it naturally induces labor - if you eat like 7 or 8. We were hoping it would happen if we just ate one or two, haha). I tried relaxing and taking hot showers. I vacuumed twice every day, swept and mopped, deep-cleaned both bathrooms, and took naps. It was on Sunday, May 8, when we had our first, real scare.
I was patting myself on the back for making it through the pregnancy this far and only going to urgent care once to check for the baby's heartbeat. I thought my paranoia was getting better, but Sunday, May 8 (Mother's Day), made me realize that I still had deep fears and anxieties about the end of the pregnancy and the labor and delivery. It started out routine - church, Sunday nap, and had Jayze's brother over for dinner. Everyone was super happy the whole day. After putting Aidan down for bed, we played a few games with Jayze's brother, Noah. After he left, Jayze and I settled in for a relaxing evening before we went to bed, too. When 9:00 p.m. hit, I realized that I hadn't done the official baby kick count for the day. I had felt the baby move earlier that morning and some in the afternoon, but the movement seemed less, and I hadn't felt him all evening. With a little trepidation, I laid down on the couch and started counting.
After an hour, I had less than 10 counts, and my anxiety level was almost through the roof. I told Jayze, and he tried to convince me to call the nurse. I hate calling the nurse after hours. It seems like emergencies always happen at night and on the weekends when your only choice is to go to the expensive hospital. I was trying to avoid going, because I didn't want to seem crazy or too paranoid and the scary thought kept coming to me...what if something really was wrong? Denial set in, and I couldn't bring myself to agree calling the nurse. But, in the back of my mind I kept thinking about Alma and how I would do anything to get this baby here safely. Yet, I just couldn't call the nurse - I couldn't get my emotions under control. Finally, Jayze ended up calling. After Jayze explained the situation, the nurse told us that things were probably okay, but with my past history, we should go in just to make sure. We called Jayze's brother again and asked him to come stay with Aidan while we went to the hospital. By that time it was 11:00. Thank you, Noah.
Thanks to the nurse calling ahead to let the hospital know we were coming, we didn't have to wait long to get into a room. I dressed into a hospital gown, climbed on top of the bed, and waited for the nurse to come back in so we could hear the heartbeat I was so longing to hear. She came in, put me on the NST, and there it was - my baby's heartbeat. I don't think I'll ever, ever, ever get tired of hearing my baby's heartbeat. The machine registered that I was getting some contractions, but not consistent ones. Thankfully, the baby looked good, but they were concerned about a couple of things, so they kept me there for a while and contacted the doctor. When the nurse called the doctor, he told her to check me. I was 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I had progressed! Jayze and I weren't sure if they were just going to induce me that night or not. We were half hoping they would and half hoping they wouldn't. We weren't prepared to be induced in the middle of the night and were so tired, but we were also anxious to get this baby here safely. We just wanted him here! In addition to the NST, they did an ultrasound. Everything looked good so they decided to let us go home since I had a doctor's appointment a couple of days from then. Talk about a roller coaster. We left with a couple of ultrasound pictures in hand, and I was hoping that wasn't the last time I got to see my baby alive.
Monday came and went, and Tuesday I had an appointment at the doctor. When I woke up, my contractions felt more painful and regular...again. I braced myself for them to stop, but they kept coming. I went in for my appointment and did the routine ultrasound. But this time, the ultrasound tech wasn't able to get everything she needed, so she sent me to do an NST. Which I am so grateful for, because I'm not sure things would have worked out the way they did without the NST.
I got on the NST, and the baby seemed to being doing...okay. I wasn't feeling much movement from him, so the nurses kept trying to wake him up. He also wasn't getting as much variation in his heart rate as they wanted, so that was another concern. After almost an hour of being on the NST, they finally saw some improvement. However, since the baby wasn't moving around as much, it took him awhile to get variation, and I was getting steady, hard contractions, they decided to check me and see if they should send me up to the hospital to have the baby. I was scared, nervous, and excited all at once. I was scheduled to be induced the next day, but with everything going on, I wanted the baby there safely and as soon as possible. They checked me, and I was dilated to a 5 and 80% effaced. It looked like I was going to the hospital! I let Jayze know, we called his brother to come watch Aidan, and up to the hospital we went to have our baby.
We arrived at the hospital, did the necessary check-in, and walked into Labor & Delivery. Our nurse showed us to our room and then left while I got in the hospital gown and into the hospital bed. Everything seemed surreal. I was really in labor and we were really going to have the baby!
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| Only picture we got in the Labor & Delivery room. Since Kimball went into the NICU so soon after being born, getting pictures was the last thing on our minds. |
We ended up having two nurses, and they were fantastic. They made us feel comfortable, communicated with us about everything going on, and answered all of our questions. Most importantly, I was comfortable asking them questions. Plus, everything went a lot faster. One nurse did my IV, while the other nurse took my temperature. One asked me questions while the other monitored my contractions. It was great.
It was strange not being induced. That's all I ever knew from my other labor and delivery experiences. This time I wasn't hooked up to medicine - my body was doing it all on its own. It was strange and exciting and terrifying all at once knowing that this was real. I was excited because we were going to have the baby that day, but I was terrified because this baby was having a few complications. I kept hoping and praying that he would be okay and that I would be okay.
I was so grateful to have Jayze with me the entire time. He didn't have to go to our car to grab forgotten paperwork. He didn't have to get off work or school. He didn't have to leave me at the hospital while he dropped Aidan off at a friend's house. It was so comforting to know Aidan was being looked after, my mom was on her way, and Jayze didn't have to go anywhere. Things were falling into place, and tender mercies were happening one right after the other. The Lord's hand was felt throughout the whole birthing experience, and I know things worked out exactly the way they were supposed to and according to the Lord's timing.
My doctor's appointment had been at 10:30, and we got to the hospital a little after 12:30. About half an hour after being there, the doctor walked into our room. I was so relieved to see him. When he walked in he teasingly said something along the lines of, "You're going to give me a heart attack, girl." He had been the doctor on call when we had come to the ER that Sunday and was nearly as anxious to get this baby here safely as I was.
I asked him a few questions about the baby's status, and he said they were keeping an eye on him and that things were going well so far. Before he left, he said, "Make me proud, girl." I'm still not quite sure what he meant (and neither do the nurses), but he probably said it about three more times to me and the nurses before the baby was born, haha.
A little bit later (I'm not sure what time), the doctor came back in to break my water. For some reason I was surprised and asked him, "Are you going to break my water right now?" He kind of stopped, looked at me, and said, "Yeah...is that okay?" I told him, "Yeah, definitely, just wanted to prepare myself for it." Haha. This whole not being induced was really strange to me. It was hard to keep up with everything happening.
The doctor broke my water, and afterwards noticed a strange smell. He asked the nurses, "Does that smell funny to you?" They both smelled, nodded, and said yes. It smelled rancid, like there was bacteria. Dr. E. turned to me, said there was a possible infection, then turned to one of my nurses and and instructed her to get me on antibiotics right away.
I felt the fear take over again. What did the infection mean? Would the baby be okay? Would I be okay?
The nurse got me on antibiotics, then turned to me and let me know that when the baby was delivered, he would have to go to the NICU just in case he contracted the infection. I was so glad she told me this before the baby was born, because it would have been 10x worse if I hadn't been mentally prepared for them to take him from me after he was born.
The contractions were coming in harder and faster, and I found it harder to keep my panic down. I didn't know if I was ready to do this. The nurse checked me, and I was already at a 7. At that point, I finally asked for an epidural. I really, really wasn't prepared to have this baby naturally, so I was hoping I would calm down once I got some pain relief. Everything was happening so fast.
I was disappointed when a different guy than the one I had with Alma and Aidan came in to do my epidural, but he was still really nice. Kind of a gruff, no-nonsense type of guy, but he seemed to know what he was doing. The epidural ended up being the easiest out of the other two I had, so I was really grateful for that. I was also determined not to be as numb as I was with Alma and Aidan, especially with Aidan. I wanted to know where to push when the time came.
Sometime after the epidural, the nurse checked me again and said I was at an 8. Suddenly, the doctor walked in, asked me what I was at, and said that I had to be more than an 8. He checked me literally a couple of minutes after the nurse had and said, "Yep." I was complete. All of a sudden everyone started getting ready to deliver this baby. I was shocked. Wasn't I just at an 8 a few seconds ago? I wasn't even feeling an urge to push. This was going so, so fast.
I have to say, it was great having the doctor there. With Aidan, it was mostly the nurses and Jayze telling me to push, and it wasn't until the baby was coming that the doctor came in. This time, the doctor, my two nurses, and Jayze were telling me to push and encouraging me. I pushed a couple of times when the doctor stood up and said that he might have to use the vacuum to help get the baby out. He also said that if the vacuum didn't work, he would try forceps. If that didn't work, we would have to do a c-section. This was all so much for my mind to process. The doctor got ready and told me to push again. All of a sudden, the baby was coming out on his own! (Later I asked if the doctor had had to use the vacuum (things were such a blur), and the nurse said nope. Thank goodness.) I still wasn't sure where the baby was at this point. All I knew was that I felt a whole lot of pressure (the epidural definitely wasn't as strong this time) and was hoping the baby was almost out. I concentrated as hard as I could on doing what the doctor was telling me.
Suddenly, the baby's head was out, and I felt an immense relief. After another push or two, the baby was born. Jayze, with tears in his eyes, kept looking at me and nodding. Our baby was here! I still couldn't see him. I wasn't sure if they were going to take him right away to the NICU or not, but I was hoping for a glimpse of him before they did. I heard the doctor say, "K, Dad, cut the cord." I heard the scissors snap and saw a tiny glimpse of our baby as he was passed from the doctor to the nurse. At first, the baby was quiet, but then he started quietly crying. Jayze and I instantly looked at each other and smiled. The best sound ever. Our baby was alive! He was breathing!
All of a sudden, there he was in my arms. My baby. I got to see him! Words just can't describe the love I felt for him in that instant. I loved him before he was born, but the love was multiplied a hundred times over when I felt his weight in my arms and saw his eyes open. He was mine. He was okay. He was my baby. He made it.
The doctor came over to where Jayze was standing over me while I was holding the baby. He looked Jayze in the eyes, shook his hand, and said, "You are the third one [that had a stillborn before] this year that we got a baby safely here." After he said that, all three of us started crying. It was such a special, sweet moment.
Before the doctor left for the final time, he winked and pointed at me and said, "You made me proud, girl." What an awesome doctor.
The nurse asked us if we had a name officially picked out. Jayze had been sure of the name since we had arrived at the hospital, but I was a little more hesitant. We looked at each other, and in that moment I knew the name we had picked out was the one. Kimball McCleve Flake.
I got to hold Kimball for 30 minutes before they took him to the NICU. It was really strange not having him there with me. All of a sudden, it was almost like I hadn't even had him. Jayze left to be with him, and I was alone. I became even more grateful for my nurses. They made being separated from my husband and baby bearable and kept saying I would be able to see Kimball around 5:00. A little later, my mom, sister, Jayze's brother, and Aidan came to see us. It was so good to see them.
Jayze was able to take everyone in two at a time to see Kimball. Everyone except Aidan. It was a little heart wrenching not getting to see Aidan and Kimball meet right away, but it was nice to have a little one-on-one time with each of them before they met.
Thanks to shift change, it ended up being more around 7:30 before I got to see Kimball again. But it was nice getting me stabilized and to the Mother/Baby Unit first and then going to see him. When we arrived at the NICU, I couldn't wash my hands fast enough. I wanted to see my baby! Jayze wheeled me around the sink after we washed our hands and a few babies down, there he was.
It was the best being able to hold him again.
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| So in love. |
Another sweet spirit made it into our family, and my heart is brimming over once again. Welcome to the fam, Mr. Kimball McCleve Flake. We're so happy and grateful you're here.
