Bye Bye, Blow Dryer

For the past few weeks, my blow dryer had been acting funny. Whenever I used it, I had to make sure the cord was in a specific spot or else the dryer would turn off. I think there was a short in it.

So it didn't surprise me when, a few days ago, I plugged it into the outlet, flipped the switch, and nothing happened. I wiggled the cord around. I pushed the reset button a few times. I kept flipping the power switch off and on. But...nothing. No go.

The thing had lasted for years. I used it in high school. My sister three years older than me used it in high school. I think my sister five years older than me might have used it, too. I knew it was going to be a goner soon, but I had planned to use it until it actually died, died.

I finally stopped trying to turn it on because I was afraid it might start throwing sparks or something crazy like that at me. I unplugged it, shrugged my shoulders, and thought, "Well, I guess it's finally bit the dust," and put it on the toilet to deal with it later.

I've been trying to be more proactive lately about throwing things away, so when I found time to take out the trash, I was proud of myself for remembering to pluck the blow dryer from the top of the toilet and place it into the white bag along with all the other trash before taking the bag out to the dumpster.

As I swung the garbage bag high over my head and flung it overboard, I heard the satisfying "thunk" of junk being gone forever from my house, hallelujah! (At least for a few minutes, ha - it's like the short-felt satisfactory feeling of finishing the last load of laundry, right?).

As I walked back across the parking lot to my apartment, I also felt a twinge of pride for taking care of my deceased blow dryer so quickly and a twinge of excitement that I now had an excuse to buy a new one.

Later, when my hair was finally dry and I had some time to style it, I went into the same bathroom (easy, we only have one), plugged my straightener into the same outlet, and held down its power button for a few seconds to turn it on.

And...nothing.

No red light.

No numbers signaling how hot the straightener was.

No warmth emanating from the two, parallel plates.

I stared at my straightener for a few seconds. Then I unplugged and plugged in the straightener again and again, alternating between the only two available bathroom outlets. In desperation, I wiggled the cord up and down and back and forth even though I knew there wasn't a short in the cord.

And...still nothing.

I knew four things: 1. My straightener was only a year old. 2. I had taken really good care of it. 3. I hadn't had any issues with it whatsoever. And 4. I went into my bedroom to test out the straightener on a different outlet - it worked. So I knew it wasn't my straightener that was the problem.

It was the stupid outlet.

Just as that fact dawned on me, I thought back to the moment earlier when I had smugly tossed that white garbage bag away and for a second the image of me trying to climb into that huge, smelly dumpster and save my not-so-lifeless blow dryer popped into my head.

I saw myself sifting through all of the dirty diapers, the food gone bad, the banana and orange peels, and reaching and stretching my hand through now-unrecognizable things covered with dirt, slime and probably infested with fleas, maggots, disease, and other horrible things in order to finally grab hold of the prized, black-gone-gray-through-the-years blow dryer and holding it above my head triumphantly. (With, I'm sure, a few of that indescribable mess plopping onto my head.)

Then I shrugged my shoulders again and thought, "Well, at least it wasn't my straightener."

I guess I'll be air-drying my hair for the next few weeks.