New Goals

Lately, my thoughts have been scattered, and it has been hard to put my feelings into words. I think that writer's block is a real thing, and I'm trying to take Stephen King's advice of, "You must not come lightly to a blank page" (On Writing).

It seems that the past few weeks - probably ever since we moved to Kansas - I've had up and down days. One day I'll be super motivated and get so many things done. I'll happily check things off my to-do list and feel proud of what I accomplished that day. Then the next day I'm in a slump. The crushing, overwhelming realization of all I still need to do hits me. The motivation I had the previous day leaves, and I end up feeling discouraged about my seemingly poor efforts in my roles as a mother, homemaker, and wife. It has been quite the roller coaster, to say the least.

"When you're in a Slump, 

you're not in for much fun. 

Un-slumping yourself is not easily done."

(Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You'll Go!)

Many different thoughts and ideas have crossed my mind of what I can do to do better and be better - as a person in society, in church, and in my home. Yet, it seems there's not enough time in the day, and my priorities tend to get off course. It has been a struggle finding the precarious balance between giving my all to all of my different roles. 

As I've pondered this and more, one thought that keeps coming back is to just keep working on myself and everything will work out. Don't waste my time comparing myself to others and utilize my time for improving me. So, naturally, the question popped up, "What can I do to improve me when I already have so many things to do that others need?" 

For example, moving to-do's like car registration, unpacking boxes, and organizing in such a small space, and so on. Daily to-do's like feeding my kids, changing diapers, playing with my kids, dishes, dinner, laundry, and cleaning the house. All of these "to-do's" affect me and make me feel less stressed when they're done, but I'm left wondering when I can do simple things for me, like reading my scriptures, taking a shower, painting my nails (anyone who knows me knows I love painting my nails), blogging, exercising, sometimes even brushing my teeth (gross, I know).

Sometimes a mom/wife life is hard. It's stretching yourself thin, making sure everyone else is okay first and then checking in with you. So, since I've been feeling a little stretched thin lately and want to find balance between it all, I've decided to set new goals to help me un-slump myself and be motivated at least 80% of the time, instead of 50%. 

My list is small and simple, but do-able. These are what I'm going to work on this week, and next week I'll check in with how I did.

• Get up at six every morning and exercise (a goal both my husband and I have set).
• Pray more. Even if I can only do it in my heart at certain times. Try to kneel and say my prayers out loud as much as possible.
• Write in my journal every evening.
• Get outside with the kids more, especially Aidan. 
• Spend less time on my phone.
• Smile more. Be happy. Don't take things too seriously. Some things just aren't worth getting mad over.
• Look for the good.

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."

~Thomas A. Edison~ 

Pictures from yesterday while waiting for Jayze to get off work.

It's Good to Have a Computer

So....I'm back!

A couple of weeks ago, our computer fell and CRACK! There went our computer screen. Since we didn't really feel like paying for a brand new laptop, we went with the second best option - buy a new screen and try to fix it ourselves.

My husband played handyman for a couple of days and wa-la! We now have a computer again. Thanks, husband! We also bought a new battery for our laptop, so now we don't have to drag the charger around everywhere we go. Why didn't we do that sooner?

A lot has happened since then, and I'm excited to start writing again.

I'm Back!

So, after over a month of not writing, I'm finally back!

After graduation, we didn't have internet for a little bit. Then it started working again. Then we went to Arizona for my sister's reception (another post in and of itself - 14 hours in a car with a baby - whew!). Then Jayze started school again and has had to take the computer every day to class, and has worked on homework at nights. Thus, no computer time for me. The cons of sharing one computer between us.

But I've made it a goal to start blogging again. Since I've been graduated, I haven't written at all and I feel like the things I've learned have already started lagging. And I feel like if I actually write my goal on here to blog and write in my journal, then it will actually happen. So much has happened, and I know I'll forget all of the details if I don't write them down.

As an English major, obviously I feel like writing is so important. But not just as an English major, but as a person in general. Even if someone feels like they can't write well, still write! I know that when I write every day, I get better at it. It's the same with exercising, reading, cooking, any goal really. I've learned in the past and am still learning now that consistency in setting and achieving goals is key.

I think another reason I haven't blogged as much is because writing exposes so much of me that it can be intimidating. I write to an imaginary audience, whether that's me or someone in my mind or just a general sense of the people who may read this. Yet, as I've read messages and comments from others who have read this blog, I have been inspired to keep writing. To keep exposing me because my imaginary audience isn't actually as imaginary as I thought.

So I'm going to keep writing because writing is a part of me. It's important, it's more than me in so many ways, and it's what helps me heal, laugh, cry, celebrate, savor, remember...

"In the end, [writing is] about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.” 

-Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft